Bad Reviews of Good Books

Tom Henry: Confession of a KillerBook reviews have become increasingly important in this age of self-publishing. My webmaster asked me to shorten Tom Henry’s Amazon reviews for this website and, while doing this task, I came across a delightful blog on bad reviews of good books.

So far Tom Henry has only garnered good reviews—friends and family first, you know—so I thought I’d write this blog before I get the bad reviews I’m sure are coming, at which time this blog might appear to be sour grapes. I’ve captured a few I really like, but I include the link below so you can read the rest.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (1961)

“Obviously, a lot people were smoking a lot of weed in the ’60s to think this thing is worth reading.”

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951)

“So many other good books…don’t waste your time on this one. J.D. Salinger went into hiding because he was embarrassed.”

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck (1939)

“While the story did have a great moral to go along with it, it was about dirt! Dirt and migrating. Dirt and migrating and more dirt.”

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925)

“It grieves me deeply that we Americans should take as our classic a book that is no more than a lengthy description of the doings of fops.”

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (1954)

“The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs.”

On the Road by Jack Kerouac (1957)

“This book gets my nomination for the most overrated book in American Literature. It is trite, saccharine and false…. In short, I despise this piece of garbage.”

The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner (1929)

“This book is like an ungrateful girlfriend. You do your best to understand her and get nothing back in return.”

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (1960)

“I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book.”

I’ll end with the longest but probably the best:

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (1926)

“Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you …’ ”

Here’s the link, so you can read them all: http://www.themorningnews.org/article/lone-star-statements

Thank you for viewing my blog. Please return often. I value your comments.

Regards,

David Hendricks

www.authorhendricks.com

Like Author Hendricks on FacebookFollow Author Hendricks on Twitter

Amazon and CreateSpace: the Good and the Bad & Ugly

Tom Henry: Confession of a Killer

The newest Fortune magazine features Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO, as the 2012 businessperson of the year. Jeff, it turns out, has built his business by being customer oriented. “We innovate,” he says, “by starting with the customer and working backwards.” In this way he has revolutionized the book publishing business. His board meetings are legendary. Before discussions can begin, the executive team takes as long as 30 minutes to read a six-page printed memo in silence.

I like Amazon. As a Prime member, I take advantage of free shipping, quick service, and low prices. So, when I completed my true crime book, Tom Henry: Confession of a Killer, it was a no brainer to publish it with Amazon as an ebook. That was in October. The process of putting it on line was quick, and they promised it would be available within 48 hours. How modest of them! It was available in minutes.

That’s fine for people who have Kindles or tablets or smart phones—well, I guess that’s pretty much everyone—but many people still prefer to curl up with a paperback. I understand. I used to feel that way myself. So with Christmas season approaching, I knew I needed to get Tom Henry printed … uh, I mean on paper. Amazon owns a POD printer, so why not stay in the family? How far can the apple fall from the tree?

Turns out this apple never grew on that tree and it’s not in the same orchard. CreateSpace is Amazon’s POD printer. POD means publish on demand. It’s the direction printing is headed these days. In the case of book printing you send an electronic file to a machine, which it prints, trims, folds, collates and stacks. At the same time it prints and folds the book cover, then both cover and guts pass through a binding machine and you have a book. The beauty of the process is you can print 500 books, 25 books, or if you like, one book. That’s what they mean by “on demand.” It’s a green process. You print only the books you sell. No overruns, no remaindering—no waste.

Even better, the setup is electronic. I email them a manuscript and an art file and their computer formats it and, voilà, it’s ready to print. With an Amazon company, it should be a matter of hours, but with CreateSpace—not so much.

On October 29 I emailed them the manuscript. Three weeks later (November 20) they emailed me a “mock-up” of the first two chapters for me to verify the formatting. I returned it with minor changes. A week and a half later (November 30) I got it back. I was now frantic to get the book out for Christmas shopping, so I called CreateSpace.

“It’s not exactly what I want, but I can live with it,” I said. “I don’t want to waste any more time. How soon can I take Christmas orders?”

“Well, sir, now we need two to three weeks to format the rest of the book.”

“But it’s done by computer.” I said.

“Yes, and it takes two to three weeks,” they said.

I took a deep breath. “So what’s the next step?”

“When we finish formatting it, we’ll print one copy and mail it to you for final approval.”

“What about the cover?” I said.

“We need the artwork for that.”

“I have the artwork,” I said. “I just need to know the spine width. When will you know that?”

“When the book is fully formatted,” they said.

“But your computer does that. Don’t you have a formula based on the number of pages?”

“Sir, your book is not the only one we’re doing. We’re busy.”

“OK,” I said. “I get the first printed copy a few days before Christmas. If I approve it, then how much longer before someone can order it?”

“It takes a week to put it on Amazon.”

“But that’ll be too late to order it for Christmas!”

“Yes, sir.”

In fact, it will have taken them all of November and all of December to prepare to print a book from two files—a Word file and a PDF.

I think perhaps Jeff Bezos needs to call an emergency six-page-memo board meeting at CreateSpace. The memo will be on customer service. And I have a tip for Mr. Bezos.

Don’t let CreateSpace print it.

 

Thank you for viewing my blog. Please return often. I value your comments.

Regards,

David Hendricks

www.authorhendricks.com

Like Author Hendricks on FacebookFollow Author Hendricks on Twitter

Quotes on Writing

This morning I came across a quote I liked in Sol Stein’s Stein on Writing. Discussing the need for a writer to bare his soul, he quoted writer Red Smith, who said, “There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.”

Over the years, when I’ve come across quotes that resonated with me from my reading, I’ve marked them for later inclusion in my file of quotations. So, for today’s blog–and specifically on the subject of writing–here are some quotes from my reading, in no particular order.

“Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by any competent journalist or historian.” Joseph Pulitzer

“Your manuscript is both good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.” Samuel Johnston

“A critic is a man who knows the way, but can’t drive the car.” Kenneth Tynan

Headlines in two newspapers, The LA Examiner, William Randolf Hearst and The LA Times, General Harrison Gray Otis; same day, same year, same edition, same trial:

  • Examiner: Cops Kill Two in Cold Blood
  • Times: Criminals Open Fire on Officials

Later edition:

  • Examiner: Witness Tells How Police Assassins Wait in Ambush.
  • Times: Witness Admits Being in Pay of Hearst—Yellow Journalism

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” Thomas A Edison

“Art and ideas come out of the passion and torment of experience; it is impossible to have a real relationship to the first if one’s aim is to be protected from the second.” Mass Culture and the Creative Artist, James Baldwin

“Ninety percent of writing is re-writing.” Ernest Hemingway

“In every work of genius, we recognize our own reflected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.” Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well.” Walden, Henry David Thoreau

“The prime difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction must stick to possibilities.” Mark Twain

“Every great and original writer, in proportion as he is great or original, must himself create the taste by which he is to be relished.” William Wordsworth

“Books, like babies, are easy to conceive but hard to deliver.” Andrew Greeley

Advice to those who would achieve immortality: “Either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I ever met.” Disorderly Conduct, Abraham Lincoln

I trust you enjoyed reading these as much as I enjoyed resurrecting them.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you visit often. My upcoming book, Tom Henry: Confession of a Killer, will be e-published in September.

Regards,

David Hendricks

www.authorhendricks.com

www.tomhenrycards.com

Coming Blogs

Because I’m a new author, I figured I’d better start a blog—my first book, Tom Henry, will be published in September. Normally a first blog would give readers some idea of what’s coming but, since I got derailed by a news story that struck a nerve the first time, I’m doing that here.

So what will I blog about? Well, I’ve got two rules: First, the age-old writer’s advice, “write what you know.” Second, “write what others might want to read.”

So here are my three categories of blog themes:

Editorial – These will include my take on recent events. June’s blog was an example. A news story appeared days before I wrote it, and I had an opinion on that subject based on my life experience.

Tom Henry – I’ve just finished writing Tom Henry, a book about a double murderer who escaped and lived as a fugitive for 13 years and told me his story in a prison cell—tales of murder, escape, life on the lam, and anecdotes of animals, birds, bees and snakes.

Crime and Punishment – I learned a lot, in my seven years of incarceration, about criminal thinking and behavior, as well as the thinking and behavior of the criminal justice system.

I’ll occasionally write about my hobbies and interests—things such as humor and sports, or airplanes and motorcycles.

Be on the lookout for one of the Tom Henry true stories. From a tree stand in the woods he observed a fox self-administering a flea-and-tick treatment. You’ll be amazed at what this smart little fellow did.

I thank you for reading my blog. I hope you visit often. If you have an idea for a post, please let me know.

My upcoming book, Tom Henry: Confession of a Killer, will be e-published in September.

Regards,

David Hendricks

www.authorhendricks.com